By: NPPD Energy Efficiency Program Manager Cory Fuehrer
Every Fru in Frugalville liked saving Christmas kilowatts...
But the Squanderer, who lived up north, truly DID NOT!
The Squanderer hated saving energy the whole Christmas season!
Please don't ask why because no one knows the reason.
It could be that he hated energy efficient LED lamps,
That the Frus had used to decorate their camps.
But I think that the most likely reason was based,
On his hate of efficiency, so he’d fritter and waste!
He winced as he thought of all Fru girls and Fru boys,
As they would rush to unwrap their energy-saving toys!
He grimaced when reflecting of Frus sitting down to their feast.
And they'd feast and they'd feast, only leaving the least!
Starting on Fru-pudding, Fru crinkles, and rare Fru-roast-beast,
Which must be roasted in a crockpot, since it consumes energy the least!
But, whatever the reason, the holiday LEDS or his energy lust,
He was driven to ensure the Frus an efficiency bust!
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
“I’ll make them waste energy!” He said without shedding a tear.
For, tomorrow, he knew, come early next morning,
He’d have their meters spinning without even a warning.
And the more the Squanderer thought of the Frus’ Christmas-Songs
The more the Squanderer thought, "I must cause the Frus more energy wrongs!”
"I know just what to do!" the Squanderer laughed while feeling so smug,
So he made a quick Santa hat, coat, and whitened his unshaven mug.
Then he chuckled and clucked, "What a energy wasting trick!
"With this coat, hat and beard, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"
So late that night, he jumped into his gas-guzzling Hummer,
While all the Frus laid in bed, most deep in a slumber.
He sped down Mount Waste, half-air bound, with reckless abandon,
Applying the brakes when only focused on landing.
"This is my first stop!", the old Squanderer Claus hissed.
And he scaled up the roof with empty bags in his fist.
All the windows were dark. (Since Frus don’t waste energy) Quiet snow filled the air.
The Frus were all dreaming of energy savings without even a care.
“I’ll steal their setback thermostats, their LEDs, their insulation,
I’ll take their ENERGY STAR® television, so they can’t watch ‘Face the Nation”!
He opened every door and every window to cold, mountain air,
He turned on every light in every empty room, though no one was there!
He slid up and down every chimney, through shadows he’d lurk.
Hey! If Santa could do it, then so could this jerk.
Then he snook and snatched, with a smirk most unpleasant,
Taking all efficiency items before his assent.
He snatched water heater blankets, new furnace filters too!
He even stole the Frus’ new insulated shoes!
He stopped at the ENERGY STAR® icebox. He took the Frus' feast!
He took the Fru-pudding! Fru crinkles! He took the Fru roast beast!
To waste more energy, he’d leave the fridge door open.
That surely would have the little Fru faces a moping!
To finally leave their stomachs in knots,
The Squanderer took the fiber optic tree that used only 10 watts!
As he snuck back up the chimney, he left open the damper,
Once outside, he disabled the heat pumps by tamper.
He raced out of Frugalville without even a warning.
For dawn was coming, it was a bright Christmas morning.
Four thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Waste,
In his gas-guzzling Hummer, he sped in great haste!
But as morning arrove, Frugalville’s sounds weren't so sad!
Rather it sounded quite happy and joyous; quite grateful and glad!
It couldn't be so! He left the Frus in deficiency!
He had taken all the items associated with Christmas and efficiency!
He stared down at Frugalville. The Squanderer strained his eyes.
Then he shuttered! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Fru down in Frugalville, wrapped in blankets and coats,
Without any energy efficient items, the Frus were singing out notes!
He hadn’t stopped Christmas, nor efficiency, nor happiness. They came!
Somehow or other, they came just the same!
"Maybe Christmas and energy efficiency," he thought, "don't come only from a store.”
"Maybe Christmas and efficiency...mean a little bit more!"
And at that minute his meanness lifted; he didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed back downhill with his load through the bright morning light.
And he brought back the presents and the ENERGY STAR® stuff!
And the food for the feast, for which there was more than enough!
He closed all the windows and doors, he sealed up each crack.
He fixed all the heat pumps and sweatered each Fru’s back.
And he... ...HE HIMSELF, to say not the least!
Used a crockpot to cook the Fru roast beast!
Southwest Public Power District, in partnership with Nebraska Public Power District, wish you and your family
a joyous and energy efficient holiday season! For energy-saving ideas for your home, business,
or farming operation, contact Southwest Public Power District or visit www.nppd.com.